Over the years I've found that my clinical practice often parallels my personal growth and healing path. Along with 20 years of devoted meditation practice came Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy and my leading Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction workshops. Along with 15 years of psychedelic journeys and the healing and transformation they provided came my support of clients in preparation and integration of their experiences with plant medicines (e.g. Ayahuasca, psilocybin, cannabis, Ibogaine) and related substances (e.g. MDMA, Ketamine). I continue to love my work with folks who are benefiting from their journeys with psychedelics and encourage folks to take a mindful approach to life. Recently, the process of aging well is capturing much of my attention.
From my work with mid-life clients over the years and my own life experiences, I'm realizing that the issues folks in their 60s and 70s face are similar to those of folks in their 40s or 50s. I've recognized how we're living our lives in our 40s and 50s directly impacts how our 60s and later years will go... Regardless of which stage of life we're moving into, there are common challenges to overcome. It's never too early to begin staying healthy. Below I share some of my personal journey to Age Well over the past couple of years. Also, see the links for other resources below.
Some of what I've learned from wise elders and researchers encourages me to make healthy lifestyle changes on several fronts - diet and exercise being the most clearly beneficial for my current situation. From these changes, I'm experiencing a variety of positive results in how I feel physically as well as mentally and emotionally. And perhaps most importantly, these lifestyle changes are supporting my continuing Spiritual healing and growth.
Some important issues along the path of Aging Well appear obvious once we recognize them. The need to let go of what made up our former "life stages" is a big one. We need to recognize our attachment to them no longer serves us. When our past preoccupations and self identity with them fall away, we can enjoy growing freedom and peace. Letting go of what has provided a comforting sense of who we are, why we're here and what we're here to do is not a small thing to accomplish. Fear and panic can arise making old self-damaging habits seem attractive. We may feel drawn to the use/abuse of alcohol, tobacco, unhelpful pharmaceuticals, cannabis, hours of social media (see below).
What our life is about and why we struggle to engage with it, becomes more unclear and confusing as we pursue clouding of the mind and numbing of the body rather than remaining committed to cultivating clarity of mind and a more energized experience of life. Again, a common lesson from other times in life, we have to turn toward the discomforts of life transitions, relax and move through them to the other side.
Our culture often ignores or even belittles the growth and opportunities for freedom this life stage offers. This cultural bias is presented clearly in Becca Levy's powerful book, Breaking the Age Code. It's not just that others have negative biases of anyone moving into this stage of life, the important person in this transformation is us! We need to avoid falling into the self-limiting energy that distorts and limits our view of life and our place in it. This can be a rewarding mindfulness practice as we watch our reactions in how we stand, what we think and what we feel comfortable doing - a powerful exercise in breaking free of our conditioned negative habits.
It can be quite challenging to manage the pressure from others in our family or from our community conditioning regarding what's OK to do with the extra time we may feel we have in this stage. We can feel uncomfortable choosing to work in the garden or sitting quietly, listening to the birds at sunrise or planning our next travel adventure. These kinds of activities can be important stress management tools while also supporting a broader, richer perspective on Life.
There are productive shifts in lifestyle that are proven to be significant supports during this transition. For example, healthy diet, balanced exercise, supportive social contacts and rewarding intimate relationships. The book, Good Energy lays out the key points of establishing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle - check it out! On the physical side, I learned a great deal from having eight sessions with skilled physical therapists. In this experience, I was able to realize how many muscle groups I had allowed to atrophy. These folks provided a host of safe exercises to bring strength and balance back into the body. Inspired by the fruit of this work, my wife and I bought a functional exercise machine to add to the elliptical machine we bought some years ago. We now have effective strength-building tools in our home where their presence reminds us daily to stay engaged in the healing and strengthening process. Our level is beyond the general guidelines of 150 min per week of moderate aerobic intensity exercise with some whole-body strength training and balance work. Perhaps the best advice is to start slow, stay at it and increase time and level over time to stabilize with what works well for you. Here's an article especially for those over 60.
Another step I wish I had made some years ago is engaging in functional medicine with physician I trust. This physician invested a number of hours conducting a deep exploration of my medical and physical history, past issues, treatments and elements of my current lifestyle. By taking the time she needed, we discovered some of the underlying causes of issues and problems I have been experiencing for many years. These issues have been with me for some time but I was unaware of how impactful they were. They are now simply coming to fruition in this later stage of life. It's encouraging to see that it's not too late to shift many of these issues into a healthy place and to carefully manage those with a limited range of healing to prevent them from worsening.
Over the years, I've come to appreciate how the media choices I make can offer positive perspectives on life or bring a variety of negative energy my way - politics, stock market, world situation vs. light-hearted comedy, educational documentaries or reading engaging books. Our stress levels can be significantly elevated and our satisfaction with life lowered when we're pulled in by provocative images and presentations that raise our fear and anxiety levels. Even a couple of weeks without social media, television, Netflix, news, etc. will show you their impact. You can see how the "noise vs. signal" ratio can shift. I'm confident that if you go media-free for a couple of weeks, you'll feel the difference in a number of physical and psychological ways.
Psychedelics can play a helpful role in this transition especially in opening our perspective to a larger, more balanced view. Well-planned and expertly guided psychedelic journeys can provide insights into some of the crippling conditioning we keep stuffed down in the mind and body. When we are aware of this conditioning we are in a good position to become free of them. Some folks find small amounts (micro dosing) of plant medicines such as mushrooms or eatable cannabis helpful in their adjustment to common changes during this stage of life. I'm not encouraging you to use psychedelics but if you feel led to do so, I want to help make these experiences as safe and helpful as possible. I offer some information about psychedelics and their safe use on this page.
I have found several books written by wise elders who support our journey of "growing younger toward death" as David Whyte presents in his poem The Faces of Braga. As I reflect on this notion, what I see is that like a child, I now have less responsibility, fewer times of being carried away by a sense of urgency, less critical judgment of myself and of others, less engagement with the growing noise of our culture. I'm experiencing life at this stage as a wonderful time filled with engaging opportunities for adventure and continued healing and growth. I understand more each day the value of stabilizing this positive perspective, this higher stage of consciousness. For an engaging read, check out Grace in Aging: Awakening as You Grow Older by Kathleen D Singh.
I continue to shape more subtle aspects of my lifestyle and bring them inline with Aging Well. I would appreciate your sharing your thoughts and feelings about how this transition is going for you and especially where you feel you could use some support. If you like, drop me a note - johnshealyphd@gmail.com
A friend pulled together a collection of valuable resources on many aspects of Aging Well - Check it out!
Helpful material on my Resource Page and in my Website for Aging Well
Rewarding Intimate Relationships
Finding Meaning in this Stage of Life
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